Dealing with ghosts and critters

Anyone who owns an old house is used to finding the occasional mouse dropping inside or paper wasp nest hanging outside among the eaves.  I guess we are more likely to encounter little critters because of the inevitable holes in the foundation and elaborate exterior woodwork that makes it attractive to insects to build their nests.  Our first encounter at this house was a little more extreme than we had expected, however.  We hadn’t expected to find a “ghost.”

After purchasing the home, we spent our first weekend there ripping out the 1960s pressed-board paneling in the hallway, certain that what we would find underneath would be an amazing old wainscoting.  We were sorely disappointed, however, as whatever had once resided beneath had been summarily rejected and removed by a previous generation of the family. 

We knew, however, that there had been something there, as the paneling covered up most of an original elaborate chair rail and the upper part of a fancy molding below.  There were areas where the plaster had pulled away with the original material, and signs of the remains of glue from the old wainscoting.  We had been so hopeful to find buried treasure beneath these boards that we finished ripping out the paneling in resolved and sad silence.  At the end of the afternoon, while removing the last boards in the side hallway we discovered something even worse.  The ghost of what once had been installed as the wainscoting revealed itself to us, a sad and dejected visage of its former glory.

This had to be the remains of a Lincrusta pattern.  Nothing else made sense.  That would also be in keeping with the fact that over each of the hall doorways was a Lincrusta panel — fancier than any we had seen on any mansion tour.  There were six panels in total, with three distinct patterns repeated twice.  The birds, flowers and elaborate foliage was surrounded by an dense leaf border with flowers in each corner.   Layers of paint had obscured much of the details in the design and gave the flowers a marshmallow appearance, but you could make out the figures of the birds and imagine the delicate lines underneath.

The pattern on the wainscoting was also not a match to any pattern that we had ever seen before.  In addition, the company that used to make Lincrusta in the 1870s had, in recent years, pulled out its old formulas and patterns and had started to re-issue their old product lines.
 
The product is made from a mixture of linseed oil and paper pulp mixed into a sort of papier mache which is then flattened and run along a conveyor belt which is then smooshed beneath a large roller with a “negative” pattern embedded into it.  This forces a “positive” pattern to be pressed into the malleable material.  It is thick, strong, and dries over the years so that it gets harder and stronger as it cures.  It was a popular material to use on plaster walls to hide imperfections and settling cracks.
 
Over time, the company played with their formulas, eventually coming up with one that was stronger and more durable, but could not produce quite as deep of a pattern design.  This material could be used on walls or floors — it was even better than an oilcloth.  They named this new version Linoleum, and it sold like crazy.  They retired their Lincrusta product in favor of this new one, and only recently discovered a growing market for their old product lines, so pulled a few of their old patterns out of storage.  This pattern, however, was clearly not one that was being reproduced.
 
Historically, Lincrusta borders and wainscoting would have been traditionally faux-grained (or faux-bois) to look like pressed-wood paneling.  We found an original example in our vestibule of the original faux-grained Lincrusta border, with a border identical to the ones surrounding the over-door panels.
 
After dumping the last of the pressed-board paneling into the dumpster, we decided to lift our spirits by surveying our new home and found the perfect spot to contemplate the full scope of our new project.  The steps of the First Baptist Church across the street provided a comfortable vantage point from which to admire the architecture of this house.
As we contemplated the three-and-a-half story central tower with its lovely slate roof with red slate patterned design and the lacy ironwork atop the front porch, we commented on how it looked like a series of townhouses put together in a row.  We rested and began formulating our plan of attack for cleaning things up and plotting our restoration.  An interesting phenomenon presented itself as we sat outside, relaxing against the cool granite steps of the church, sipping on bottles of water and shaking the dust out of our clothes.  It became evident to us that a large group of chimney swifts was circling the rooftops of the house, wheeling in and out around the peaks and valleys, flowing in random patterns above the tower. 
 
Silently we watched, looking for similar activity going on around the other houses on the street, seeing nothing but the frenetic energy of the flock in front of us, hearing the echoes of dozens of high-pitched staccato notes trilling among them.  After musing as to the strange behavior of these birds for a while, an image from my childhood returned to me suddenly.  The sparrows in the yard in a frenzy at the corner of the house, leaping over each other, a flurry of wings and darting beaks.  I remember the glass jar of evidence I brought in to show my father.  I leapt to my feet involuntarily and rushed toward the house.  Tom followed perplexed as I took the front steps two at a time.  By the time I reached the attic I was winded, but my worst fears were realized.  The entire attic was aflutter with, what seemed like, millions of tiny smudges of black with large translucent wings.  Tom was slightly enchanted by this surreal landscape until I explained the reality of the situation.  A massive termite mating flight was in progress and the source was emanating from our attic. 
 
To see termites on the third floor could only mean one thing, a long-standing roof leak (chimney flashing, it turned out to be) was flowing all the way down to the dirt floor below the joists in the basement, and these tiny residents had moved in following the moisture and had happily chomped their way from the basement to the first floor, up the second floor, and were now filling their bellies with the wood from the rafters in our attic.  Well, at least that would explain the strange squishy feeling of the hardwood floors in the front parlor. 
An exterminator and a roofer appropriately applied to the problem provided excellent results, and we haven’t seen a single termite since. Unfortunately, it ultimately led to having to re-support the front parlor joists, and the hardwood floors in that room were a complete loss.  As luck would have it, however, we found an excellent substitute at an auction in Frederick, Maryland. 
 
The Frederick chapter of the Knights of Pythias had sold their building and it was going to be turned into condominiums, so the architectural elements, furniture and ceremonial pieces were being sold off.  At one point in the bidding I had my card held aloft and Tom on the phone as I informed him that I would be buying the ceremonial human skeleton and decorative coffin — the bidding was weak on this item and we could get it for a song!  My card came down abruptly, however, when he informed me that if I came home with the skeleton he would divorce me.  Geeez, what’s wrong with having a human skeleton and really cool coffin?!!  After all, we own the house that everyone in town refers to as the “Addams’ Family House.”

After purchasing a couple of the stained glass windows, I kept trying to get the auctioneers attention.  When I would catch his eye, I would point emphatically to the carpet we were all standing on and mouth the words “What About The Carpet?”.  He would respond with a quizzical shake of the head and move on.  After repeating this exchange three or four times, he finally shrugged his shoulders resignedly and announced without enthusiasm: “Now selling the carpet”, and pointed to the floor.  People looked around, apparently not having noticed the 1912 Wool Bigelow carpeting they were standing on, and appeared confused about what exactly was for sale.  Others were looking around for a “carpet” or some version of a Persian rug, and not finding one, lost interest.  I seemed to be the only bidder, and purchased it for the opening bid price.  Before the auction was over, at least three dealers approached me to ask if they could buy the carpet from me, not having realized what it was they had been standing on. I politely declined.  This would be the carpeting to be installed in my double parlors, with more left over for whatever else we wanted to use it for.

Interestingly enough, the double parlors originally had carpeting, not hardwoods.  The hardwood floors in the house are all narrow board oak, likely installed at a later date.

This 1880s photo clearly shows the wool carpeting in the double parlors.  As we had decided to decorate in a Victorian Turkish-Revival theme, the carpeting was an absolutely perfect fit for our intended decorating scheme.
 
As to the occasional mouse, we find our share, often in unexpected places.  One came to a sticky end in a cup of honey I had left on the countertop.  A few have ventured into empty garbage pails with bad results, and more than a few have woken us in the night with their antics; most notably the one who fell into the bathtub after filling his belly on our bar of soap.  This little guy was frantically and loudly trying to climb the plastic shower curtain.  I finally quit trapping and releasing them with the humane traps after realizing that it would be a never-ending affair, especially after finding a trap occupied after a snowstorm.  Loathe to release the little guy into a frozen death, we took him back to Falls Church to live out the rest of the winter with us, gorging on peanuts and sunflower seeds.  He was considerably fatter when he went to live down by the Dan River that spring.  By eliminating attractive food sources, we keep their numbers down, and they occupy the space with very little evidence of their existence. 
 
The main concern with the mice is their ability to chew through the insulation around wires and cause a short.  I hadn’t considered this when I tried to plug in the blender and found the outlet no longer working.  After a trip from the attic to the basement, at the fourth (and final) breaker box I finally found the tripped breaker and flipped it, only to have it immediately trip again.  Frustrated, I decided to approach the problem in a systematic fashion, and start with the outlet.  After removing the outlet cover, I discovered the problem.  Whoever had installed the outlet had lined the outlet box with insulation for some unfathomable reason.  I began roughly pulling out the grey fluffy insulation, wondering what on earth they were thinking, when I stopped to look at what it was made of.  I had never seen insulation quite like that, and suddenly realized that what I was holding, pinched between my finger and thumb, was a mummified mouse leg, complete with a little paw at the end.  Needless to say, I used the vacuum to remove the rest of the desiccated little body, which solved the electrical problem.
 
One excursion into the attic during the early months of our tenure I discovered a pile of mouse droppings on the floor and remarked on the presence of mice.  Standing there, in the middle of the attic, however, pondering this neat pile of many droppings, it suddenly dawned on me that mice don’t run across the middle of  a room to “do their business” in the same spot over and over again.  It was then that I looked directly above me and announced that we have bats.
The bats kept to the attic spaces, and would be permanent residents until we had the attic spaces sealed and insulated and drywall installed.  We accepted their presence and ignored them, and they left us alone except for their occasional foray down the attic stairs into the house at night.  This would inevitably trip the motion detectors and end up with the alarm sounding at some ungodly hour, and resulted in a lively game of “get the bat to fly out of the window.”  Fortunately, these events were few, though the bats never seemed to understand the object of the game. 
 
In addition to the bats were the usual array of flying insects that managed to find their way inside.  One Summer we had the house “unpainted” which required the removal of every window screen.  This presented a problem the first weekend after the massive undertaking of removing over 60 large aluminum window screens and their supportive frames from outside each of the basement, first, and second-floor windows.  We had not had time to buy temporary expandable screens, and the weather had heated up. 
 
I was down that weekend by myself, and had no choice but to throw the bedroom windows wide open.  We hadn’t even had time to buy a fan, so I was lying in bed fully-clothed, doused in mosquito repellent with a sheet pulled up over me for added shielding, and sweating profusely.  Even still, I was kept awake by the loud droning of mosquitoes buzzing in my ear, looking for a chink in the armor, and feeling the pinch when a blood-sucking insect found one. 
 
Frustrated, I finally got up and flicked on the light, so I could see my enemies better, and plopped back into the bed lamenting, wishing out loud for SOMETHING, that would get rid of these mosquitoes.  Almost instantaneously, I became aware of a dark shape circling the room in the high ceiling above.  I felt the hysterical laughter escape my lips even before I recognized the unnerved tone in the sound of it, as I watch the movements of the bat and wondered at my request which had been granted so instantaneously.  I can’t say that I am a religious person, but I am certain that if there is a God, he or she has a sense of humor and timing that would make them a fun person to hang out with, so long as you were not the object of their attention.  After another familiar game of “get the bat to fly out of the window.”  I gave up on sleep and pulled out the heat gun and dental tools and went to work on scraping the paint off the woodwork.
Carla Minosh

While I am new to Blogging, I have always enjoyed sharing the stories of my crazy life, so this is simply another medium to share, and hopefully entertain and enrich others. Perhaps you can feel thankful that your life is so steady and predictable after reading these, perhaps you can appreciate the insanity and wish you had more of it in your life. Either way, the crazy tales are all true (to the best of my spotty recollection) and simply tell the tale of a life full of exploration, enthusiasm, curiosity and hard work. I hope you all enjoy being a part of the journey.

Share with your friends

1 thought on “Dealing with ghosts and critters”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *